At School

This is to be printed in the forthcoming issue of UXOLO (the brothers' newsletter).

Here is an early preview!

From the first moment I crossed the threshold of Holy Cross School I knew that I was entering a special place. This was less a flash of insight than an intuitive sense that where I now found myself was truly blessed. I sensed that whatever was to come out of my time here in Grahamstown, whatever challenges or joys I might encounter, my work at the school would always be a profound source of comfort and inspiration. My instincts were right on the mark.

Though it feels somewhat cliche to talk about how “children teach you so much”, as I sit here trying to synthesize my experience thus far it is one of the few concrete phrases I can pull up. Or more accurately, it is one of the few thoughts to which I consistently return. I, of course, could talk about more staid practical matters like the library or our soon to be expanded computing capabilities. Or I could delve into amusing specifics like my (moderately) successful attempts at substitute teaching. But I would like to try to explain, in whatever limited language I can manage, exactly what Holy Cross has meant to me thus far.

At its simplest these children have taught to me be present; to be willing to put my life on pause and enjoy what is around me; to embrace my blessings and respond with joyful thanks. It is a truism of working with children that you can’t really have an “off” day--that kids will demand so much of your attention and energy that even if you don’t feel up to it, in the end, you don’t really have a choice. That has undoubtedly proved true as my months at the school have unwound but I have, in these kids, experienced something beyond just the taxing of energy and focus. I have experienced nothing less than the love of God, expressed through the simple, joyful demands of the love of children. When I am rushing to fulfill some task or caught up in my own mind with various frustrations or anxieties it is easy to ignore the wonder that is daily living--that is creation itself--and simply plod along, fueled by my own internal drama. But there are moments daily in which I am caught by a child (either literally with a hand or figuratively with a voice) and my attention is demanded: to see, to “look Bhuti look!”. It is in these moments that God is calling me to forget myself, to let go of my ego and simply look around me with new eyes. It is in these moments that our students are opening my eyes to the blessing of love with their simple demand of the same. It is in these moments that I am given an opportunity to remember once more my love of God and the love God has for me. 

In 1John that we learn that “...those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.” This is what the children at Holy Cross School have helped me to truly understand; that in allowing myself to being present and open to the love of others, I will inevitably be opened to the love of God.