This is an idea that I've been wrestling with since my first day in South Africa.
I will not pretend that I am providing a definitive answer though my tone is sweeping at times; this is simply one person's approach to what is an unanswerable problem.
I'll be honest; this one makes me nervous. It feels like a level of sharing that is perhaps too much. Even as I have moved beyond the feelings discussed below, exposing this part of myself that I worked so hard to hide feels...reckless.
But I think these thoughts are important and worth sharing. We all hope to find ourselves--to whatever extent possible--in the lives and stories of others; perhaps that's all writing really comes down to as well. Hoping that someone will find themselves in you.